2002-10-04 - 3:10 p.m.
A phone conversation between me and Caroline:
it's almost john's birthday. do you remember his party last year? yeah, we hardly knew each other, but i wanted to set you up with c., so i invited you to come. it was cold that night, and i wore a hat. no, you wore the hat, a white fluffy one. and i got there really late because i couldn't find the house. and i had that long political conversation with g. & p. and i was standing right next to mateo when he asked, "so where's the famous sara f___?" that was when it was me and c. and john, emailing dozens of times every day and going to the showdown at least once a week. and i did talk with c., and remember how i said i felt he was the type of guy i could spend all night talking to, until the sun rose? yep, until he started throwing up. yeah, i kind of thought he should be with someone he knew better than me at that point. i found him lying on the driveway, practically curled up in the fetal position. i went inside to get him some water, and ran into john. he asked if he should come out, do his "buck up, little camper" routine. and i said, "why? so he can be reminded of one more thing that you're better at than he is?" in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have said that, but i'd been drinking. john smiled so much that night; i guess he was just drunk, but at the time, i couldn't remember ever seeing him that happy. at one point, he wore a feather boa, and i never would have believed it if there weren't documented proof. and then there was t., someone who looked vaguely familiar, and was talking to everyone at the party that i knew. i finally met him in line for the bathroom. we talked afterwards, and i just couldn't figure out how i knew him. finally, i asked him if he was in a band. "you're the drummer for ss, aren't you?" i stumbled then, inadvertently turning into fan girl. the flirting diminished after that; i talked about kickball for the next thirty minutes, even going so far as to draw him a map to the field. i couldn't just ask him for his phone number? everyone said how he was on the make that night (i was too, although less likely to admit it), and i wonder how close i was to actually hooking up with him. he met some girl at a party the next night, and started dating her. for months, all i thought was that it could have been me. he might be at the party this year too. yeah, maybe. i had to drive c. home, after j. and j. helped me get him into my car. they were like mother hens, fussing about him, and j. said, "now c., when you get home, you're going to want to take a warm bath. do not take the warm bath. go straight to bed." so i drove him home, and as soon as we got inside, he was in the bathroom running a warm bath for himself. "are you sure that's such a good idea?" every three minutes, he would say, "my head is 18 inches above the surface of the water." and then he threw up in the bath water, and was so crestfallen that he couldn't continue taking his bath. i reassured him that a hot shower would be almost as good, and he was amazed that i was right. he sounded like such a little kid at the time. when he came out, i made him drink some water and take some ibuprofen and put him to bed. i pulled the covers up and kissed his forehead and let myself out. it won't be like that ever again, will it? well, probably not for quite some time. but maybe it will. someday. i wonder what will happen at john's party this year. you'll go with me, right? of course. this year, we will go together.