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2002-06-11 - 1:45 p.m.

So after three years of talking about it, I finally participated in the Danskin Womenís Triathlon. Here are my official results, with accompanying commentary by yours truly, and photographic evidence of the feat by Rob.

Race Results
First Name: SARA
Sex: F
[Of course, female. I mean, itís a womenís triathlon.]
Class: 25-29
[They take a black sharpie and mark your race number on your arms and legs. Then they mark your age on the back of your left leg. I paused when the volunteer asked how old I was. I almost didnít remember. I havenít been 28 for that long, and just saying it out loud like that, and later, seeing it written out on the back of my leg when I turned my head far enough around Ė well, it just felt so old.]

Swim: 00:22:32
[Okay, surely this is a mistake. Because it felt like I was in the fucking water for at least an hour. I knew swimming would be my weakest event, but I didnít realize just howÖwaveyÖthe water would be. I valiantly tried to do the crawl, but after swallowing water a few times, I opted for the side stroke. You donít get very far with the side stroke. When the crowd cleared out some, it was on to the back stroke, because at least I felt like I was getting somewhere with that. My one consolation is that I didnít have to grab one of the water noodles the volunteers in canoes were handing out.]
Swim Rank: 1818
[Almost two thousand people swam faster than me? Ugh.]

Trans 1: 00:04:49
[Okay, this is what happened during the transition. I scrambled out of the water, and ran up a hill, barefooted, the crowd cheering me on, while I tried desperately not to make eye contact, and hoped my breasts werenít bobbing up and down too licentiously. Found my bike, dried off, put on my running shoes, unhooked my bike from my rack, made my way out, realized I didnít put on sunblock, dropped my bike, ran back and liberally but unevenly applied sunblock, put a bandanna on my head, put the helmet on, and then I was off. Not bad for under five minutes. Can you spot me in the picture below?]

Bike: 00:57:38
[Can I just tell you that I kicked ass on the bike portion? I only have a mountain bike. Mountain bikes arenít made for speed. So I took my time, imagined myself on a nice leisurely bike ride through the country, and tried to ignore the dozens of cyclists that passed me. Until we got to the hills. There were a lot of hills. And they were steep too. Thatís when I started passing everyone, even the fancy bicyclists with their fancy bicycle clothing and their fancy road bikes. Some of them were even walking their bikes up the hill! But fancy bike stuff is no match for how stubborn I can be, and I was determined not to stop and walk my bike up the hill. Of course, they all passed me when we started going downhill.]

Bike Rank: 1840
MPH: 13.0
Trans 2: 00:03:03
[Bike to run transition. Struggle to put bike on rack, fail miserably, contemplate throwing bike on the ground, but compromise by finding another rack. Take off helmet. Take off bandanna. Pin my hair back with barrettes, and wonder rather vainly how it looks. Attempt to put on sports bra and simultaneously remove bathing suit top, without showing excessive nipplage. Mostly succeed. Apply more sunblock. Realize itís hard to rub sunblock in when youíre all sweaty. Wipe off excess sunblock with towel. Take off running. All that in three minutes. Not bad.]

Run: 00:29:44
Run Rank: 1018
Pace: 00:09:35
[Now, normally I run 10 minutes a mile. Whatís up with that? How could I run faster than I normally run, after swimming half a mile and biking 12 miles, in what felt like the hottest day of the year so far? And there was no shade on the trail. And the last half a mile was uphill. I know I look happy in the picture below, but do you want to know what I was really thinking as I ran up that last hill? ďIs this as bad as mile 24 of the marathon? Yes, itís as bad as mile 24 of the marathon. Oh, surely it canít be that bad. Really, itís pretty bad. Whereís the fucking water stop?Ē]

Final: 01:57:48
[Under two hours! Woo-hoo! That was my goal. Well, my actual goal was to finish and not embarrass myself. So I succeeded on both fronts!]

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